How to overcome prejudices about men’s mental health: the case of the “Be a Friend. To yourself too”

Recently, X was asked as a joke: “Tell me the biggest lie that almost all men can tell”. The most popular answer was “I’m fine”. 

Men in Ukraine are not used to sharing their experiences. Society imposes expectations of “masculinity” and “strength” on them, creating pressure and fear of appearing weak. An even bigger problem is that they hardly ever seek psychological help, even when it is needed. As a result, men find themselves behind a wall of stigma – prejudice and stereotypes about what they should be like. But this does not mean that this wall cannot be broken down. Or at least start dismantling it brick by brick.

Why it’s hard for men to talk about their emotions

The phrases “a real man doesn’t cry” or “be a man” have shaped entire generations. They are still quite easy to hear in everyday conversations, which, consciously or unconsciously, further perpetuates this stereotype. Harmful attitudes are transmitted through family, school, culture, and even advertising. As a result, there is no culture in society to openly discuss men’s emotions and psychological difficulties.

The topic of men’s mental health has become one of the most silenced. This creates the illusion that if they do not talk about their problems, they do not exist. Due to the lack of a culture of acceptance, it is difficult for men to admit their difficulties, and even more difficult to ask for help.  

According to various estimates, between 70 and 90% of men in Ukraine have never seen a psychotherapist.

The full-scale attack has further exacerbated the problem, as many men have joined the army and are under stress, still being part of a society where it is not customary to talk about it. Despite their critical conditions, many find excuses: “I can cope on my own”, “I don’t want to look weak”, “It’s harder for others than for me”. 

How to communicate what we used to keep silent about

Harmful attitudes do not change immediately, but require long and gradual work, especially given the taboo nature of the topic of men’s mental health in society. It has rarely been addressed, and it is difficult to list campaigns aimed at normalising men’s emotions. 

The key decision that guided the plusone social impact agency in preparing the information campaign was that it is better to overcome stigma rather than confront it. Especially at the stage when it is so deeply ingrained in people’s minds.

In the “Be a Friend. To Yourself Too” campaign, we decided to showcase the topic of mental health through male friendship, as men are often willing to do much more for their friends than for themselves. The idea behind the campaign is a simple change of perspective: imagine your closest friend sharing his problems, stress at work, or worries about the future. Would a true friend condemn him or her for this, or would they accuse him or her of weakness and turn away? Or would they support and help you? 

By using this example, we want to show that if a man is ready to support his friend, why not support himself in the same way? Because if we can be understanding and accept the pain of others, it is worth becoming such a friend for ourselves.

Recognising and normalising your moral state is the first step towards overcoming stigma. Shifting the focus from ourselves to those we care about often helps us to see things from a different perspective and, as a result, to be more attentive to ourselves. 

Caring, understanding and acceptance are what we would do for our loved ones, regardless of gender. It’s time to rethink the approach to men’s mental health by creating a space for open conversations and support. Perhaps then fewer men will say they are fine and feel that it is okay to seek help.